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12-03-2022, 12:53 AM
I'd like to state upfront I have earlier sought actual psychiatric treatment from IMH and subsequently been diagnosed with depression. This was written with the intention to educate those who are delaying the help they really need, or simply for those who are curious.
Growing up, my folks were somewhat dysfunctional; mum constantly battled her own mental issues while dad was often away at work. I'm not seeking sympathy, I'm still very grateful that I have a roof over my head, that I don't have to worry about food and that I was always given sufficient allowance to live life as a normal teenager. However, this in turn engineered a facade, one that portrayed my life as being "okay" - hence there was no need to seek treatment for my, how should I say, lack of motivation ever since I was in secondary 3. It didn't help my exceptionally traditional Asian family was strongly prejudiced against mental illness, opining that those with issues are not religious enough blah blah blah (yes, ironically my mom included).
As far as my studies were concerned, I fared pretty decently for the most part, grades were nothing out of this world but they enabled me to advance like everyone else. In secondary school however, a spark got lit within me - soon I was scoring A1s left and right, boy that feeling was really addictive. Next thing I knew, I found myself often glued to my textbooks and revising at least 7+ hours every single day. In secondary 3 I suffered my first burnt-out; meanwhile things at home were rapidly deteriorating, what with my parents constantly screaming and slamming doors like nobody's business. My teachers started to cast me aside because I simply. could. not. focus. I possessed absolutely no motivation to attend school and would rather just lock myself in the bedroom. Welcome to my very first real encounter with depression.
I did seek help from the school counsellor, however she ratted me out to my teachers.....oh well. I felt so defeated, alone; my siblings and I weren't talking to each other anymore because we were just so busy with our own stuff. Then came the 'O' Level examinations which I completely flunked (read: ended up with a plethora of D7s and F9s). I wasn't ready to take it lying down, hence I resat them as a private candidate the following year and gained acceptance into my dream polytechnic course. There, it's downhill all the way as my mind kept inventing fresh crap to ensnare itself.
More at https://www.domainofexperts.com/2022/03/...-your.html
Growing up, my folks were somewhat dysfunctional; mum constantly battled her own mental issues while dad was often away at work. I'm not seeking sympathy, I'm still very grateful that I have a roof over my head, that I don't have to worry about food and that I was always given sufficient allowance to live life as a normal teenager. However, this in turn engineered a facade, one that portrayed my life as being "okay" - hence there was no need to seek treatment for my, how should I say, lack of motivation ever since I was in secondary 3. It didn't help my exceptionally traditional Asian family was strongly prejudiced against mental illness, opining that those with issues are not religious enough blah blah blah (yes, ironically my mom included).
As far as my studies were concerned, I fared pretty decently for the most part, grades were nothing out of this world but they enabled me to advance like everyone else. In secondary school however, a spark got lit within me - soon I was scoring A1s left and right, boy that feeling was really addictive. Next thing I knew, I found myself often glued to my textbooks and revising at least 7+ hours every single day. In secondary 3 I suffered my first burnt-out; meanwhile things at home were rapidly deteriorating, what with my parents constantly screaming and slamming doors like nobody's business. My teachers started to cast me aside because I simply. could. not. focus. I possessed absolutely no motivation to attend school and would rather just lock myself in the bedroom. Welcome to my very first real encounter with depression.
I did seek help from the school counsellor, however she ratted me out to my teachers.....oh well. I felt so defeated, alone; my siblings and I weren't talking to each other anymore because we were just so busy with our own stuff. Then came the 'O' Level examinations which I completely flunked (read: ended up with a plethora of D7s and F9s). I wasn't ready to take it lying down, hence I resat them as a private candidate the following year and gained acceptance into my dream polytechnic course. There, it's downhill all the way as my mind kept inventing fresh crap to ensnare itself.
More at https://www.domainofexperts.com/2022/03/...-your.html
