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I'm a psychiatrist - here are 5 myths about gaslighting and how to tell if it's happening to you

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How to know you are not gas lighted by the psychiatrist

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How to know you are not gas lighted by the psychiatrist

1. Gaslighting only happens in romantic relationships

According to Dr Das: 'Gaslighting can occur in other kind of dynamics. It could be a parent-child relationship, it could be a friendship, it even could be a co-worker dynamic, or within a cult setting.'

He explained that gaslighting is not just about romance, it's about power and control, and so it can happen in many different scenarios.

2. It's a good idea to confront your gaslighter directly

According to Dr Das: 'Obviously, there are going to be some situations with gaslighting where you can't cut ties with the individual. 

'So if it's say, your parent or your sibling, you probably can't move away from that situation. Other times might be easier. If it's a new romantic relationship, you can probably cut ties. 

'So if possible, the healthiest thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation, to prioritise your own well being and your own mental health.'

3. Gaslighting is always intentional

With some gaslighters, Dr Das said it 'absolutely' is very deliberate. 

'But in other cases,' he explained, 'they won't even realise they're doing it, a bit like you grinding your teeth at night.'

He continued: 'So how do they not realise? Well, they might have learned these manipulative tasks from their own upbringing. Sometimes, it's so ingrained that they do it on autopilot. It becomes automatic.'

This could be because they are 'literally modelling what they learned from when they were younger', he said, while sometimes it's because 'they think of every relationship as needing to have a dynamic'.

4. Only people with low intelligence can be gaslighted  

'Anybody, in actuality, is susceptible to gaslighting,' said Dr Das.  

'So it's nothing to do with intelligence. It's more about how much they care about the gaslighter's opinion. 

'That can be related to low self esteem, but equally, it can be related to high levels of empathy, actually just being a nice person, or you could genuinely love that person, or you could have been emotionally dependent on them, either now or in the past.' 

5. Gaslighting is a modern phenomenon 

'Mankind has been playing mind games with each other since the dawn of time,' said the psychiatrist.  

He explained that while the term 'gaslighting' came into our lexicon fairly recently, it has existed for as long as humans have interacted with each other.

Dr Das explained the origins of the word, saying: 'It originated from a 1938 British stage play by Patrick Hamilton which was titled Gaslight.  

'The play tells the story of a husband who manipulates into his own wife into thinking that she's going crazy by dimming the gas light in their house and then denying it when she confronts him....[this] leaves the wife questioning her own sanity and her own perception of reality.

https://www.tiktok.com/@psychforsoremind...nDbCy2lUva&_r=1

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4. Only people with low intelligence can be gaslighted  

'Anybody, in actuality, is susceptible to gaslighting,' said Dr Das.  

'So it's nothing to do with intelligence. It's more about how much they care about the gaslighter's opinion.

它们最害怕的东西最终会控制它们。他在乎什么就被什么控制。