Shameless fake British in Singapore
#1

F: You look Chinese.
*S: I am a Singaporean.*

F: But you look Chinese.
*S: I am a Chinese Singaporean / I am a Singaporean Chinese.*

F: So do you speak Chinese?
*S: Yes, but not fluent.*

F: But you are a Chinese.
*S: I am a Singaporean Chinese, not Chinese from China.*

F: So you are not a Chinese?
*S: I am not Chinese from China.*

F: But your great grandfather is from China?
*S: Yes, but I was born in Singapore, so I am a Singaporean Chinese.*

F: So your great grandfather speaks Chinese?
*S: He speaks dialect.*

F: Do you speak dialect?
*S: No, I don't.*

F: Why not?
*S: Because our country has a Speak Mandarin campaign that is so successful that the new generation practically do not speak dialect anymore.*

F: So you should speak very fluent Mandarin since it's so successful?
*S: No. That campaign was effective before, but not anymore.*

F: Why?
*S: Because most people speak English nowadays. We have a Speak Good English campaign.*

F: So English is your National Language?
*S: No!*

F: So what is the National Language of Singapore?
*S: Malay.*

F: What?
*S: Yes, Malay!*

F: Do you speak Malay?
*S: No.*

F: Why not?
*S: Because I am not Malay.*

F: Then why is your National Language Malay?
*S: That's another long history lesson.*

F: So your National Language is Malay and nobody speak it?
*S: The Malays speak Malay. That's their mother tongue. We have 4 races: Chinese, Malay, Indian and Eurasian. Each speaks their own mother tongue.*

F: So your mother tongue is Chinese?
*S: Yes.*

F: But you can't speak it fluently?
*S: Yes.*

F: Does the Malay or Indian speak fluent mother tongue?
*S: More fluent than the Chinese speaking Chinese I supposed.*

F: Why?
*S: Because that's their mother tongue.*

F: Then why can't the Chinese?
*S: Because we speak English mainly in school.*

F: I last heard that Singapore has a bilingual policy.
*S: Yes, we have, we do learn mother tongue in school.*

F: But you cannot speak Chinese fluently.
*S: Yes.*

F: Why?
*S: Because our country's working language is mainly English, there is not much places to use the language, perhaps only with our grandparents and when we buy things in the market.*

F: Then how is that bilingual?
*S: I don't know.*

F: So you are a Singaporean Chinese who can't speak your National Language, and cannot speak your mother tongue fluently and can only communicate in English with a strange accent.
*S: What's wrong with my accent?*

F: I don't know, it is just weird.
*S: Does it sound British or American?*

F: Neither, I thought you should sound British since you have been colonized before?
*S: No, that was long long time ago, dude.*

F: How come you try to sound American?
*S: Because I watch a lot of Hollywood movies.*

F: Your English still sounds weird.
*S: Oh, we call it Singlish.*

F: So what are you really?
*S: I am a Singaporean!*

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Si Beh Luan ah!  [死伯乱]
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[+] 2 users Like CHAOS's post
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#2

Good one. 
Are they talking about me? 
I am a Singaporean.
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#3

Next time such conversation forming, you tell the person if forefathers from China and chinese but migrated to Sg and have kids here they can't understand. That means the person believes that if food intake gives shit and therefore food and shit the same, he has to eat a big piece of shit before he continues the conversation.

Or you ask him for his car, then bang the fucking car a few times against the wall and return him the car. He should not make any remarks or noise since it's still his car you returned.
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#4

瓦吸不会说华文的,英文比较好一点
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#5

Bo liao...childish post.
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#6

(03-02-2023, 02:21 PM)Sharexchange Wrote:  Bo liao...childish post.


Cannot handle the truth?  Big Grin
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