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I almost commit suicide too, if not for one man hold me back,,,
at first u think u want to dies, u still scare to do it,, then as time and with time yr depression get worsen , u become brave
but u still scare to kill yrslef, then it will come a time when yr mind just go blank, and u now no longer scare to dies,.and also u dont know what u are doing what...
I was in a place call MBK in Bangkok for holiday as my son took me there hope that i can relax.., i was about to jump from the 7 level of the shopping when one man pull me back,, one of leg was already over the glass barrier, i remember i still ask why he was pulling me, my mind was a blank, and he in turn ask , i shd be the one ask u what u are trying to do, at this time my son run out from the restaurant where we was having dinner, then from then on they follow me every where i go, scare i do stupid thing..
my mother and my father dies within 2 month one after another is too much for me to take it..that is how i got depress,especially i am vy close to my mother,
when return to spore i was admitted to imh and then later NUH.. today i am still on anti depressent drug .,i was on many type..paxil fluxetine, paraxetine and so on ,, now finally i am on Lexapro,
this drug save my life, i am also on valium, but valium is fast acting and i use it for insomnia mostly..i am on this drug for some 5 yrs lready,,
later the consultant introduce me to vipassana meditation,, i hope i can slowly taper down on this drug.. those drug have cause me dementia and sexual issue,, but this one sex i dont mind is ok i am too old to bother abt sex,
anti depressent drug can cause lot of issue like dementia and so on,,, u can google,, but they are llife saviour,,My dementia is getting worse, I have even forgotten where i park my car once when i was in IMM, and at time i would repeatedly check and double check when i do a thing or work,,to ensure it is properlty close and so on,
I hv forget to lock my door many times too, my wife have even change the gas stove to electric, fearing that i forgot to off the gas,,,
Lexapor save my life, i dont mind i dies a short life, better than to live a life of depression and anxiety..
why suffer?? just take the drug and be happy go lucky,. another 10 to 15 yrs i have to say goodbye to all of u here..
dont commit suicide go see psychiatrist , it work.
(This post was last modified: 08-11-2023, 05:54 AM by
victortan.)