[Bigiron]

Don't trust people with these 8 deceptive habits, warns former FBI agent

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/02/12/retired-...nesty.html

1. They speak in absolutes, such as ‘always’ and ‘never.’ 

2. They brag by downplaying their accomplishments. 

3. They try to please you by judging people you both know. 

4. They’re highly defensive. 

5. They love to debate. 

6. They talk too much and say too little. 

7. They don’t know how to apologize. 

8. They display uncomfortable body language.

[Bigiron]

Something for sgtalker to learn

[Bigiron]

POWER PLAYERS
Former FBI agent of 21 years: These are the 8 biggest ‘warning signs’ that reveal a dishonest person
Published Wed, Feb 12 202011:29 AM ESTUpdated Wed, Feb 12 202011:52 AM EST
Robin Dreeke, Contributor
@RDREEKE


Portra / Getty Images
Every person has a tell. Your friends, co-workers, family members, partner and boss may actually be revealing their true intentions, but shrouding them in clever disguises.

As a retired FBI special agent and former chief of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program, I spent 21 years defeating people whose sole intention was deception and trickery. Through years of trial and error, I recognized certain key patterns and learned how to “size people up” — or predict what others will do, and trust them accordingly.

Here are the biggest warning signs that reveal a dishonest person:

1. They speak in absolutes, such as ‘always’ and ‘never.’
Absolutes are meant to support a point of view, but they’re rarely true and can easily incite denial and opposition.

When someone says, “You never compliment me,” for example, they’re just begging you to say: “That’s ridiculous! I remember giving you compliments!” Even when you know that someone is just exaggerating, it can be hard to tell if they know it. When absolutes go unchallenged, they have a perverse tendency to be reborn as the truth.

People who are trustworthy tend to use words that soften absolutes, such as “usually,” “often,” “probably,” practically,” “sometimes,” “frequently” and “generally.”

2. They brag by downplaying their accomplishments.
A lot of people think they know how to brag artfully, but really don’t. Some wait for the right moment in a conversation to casually toss in their 15 seconds of self-promotion — as mere information, a pertinent example or a flash of amusing recollection. And when you give them the kudos they’re looking for, they brush it off.

If they name-drop, they mention the “Big Name” in a cluster of unknowns, as if they’re not even aware of their status-seeking. Another example might be the co-worker who always tries to reassure that you’ll be able to do something better than they did, in the guise of encouragement. But their primary goal is to remind you of how great they are — as you struggle to do it.

3. They try to please you by judging people you both know.
They imply that you’re better than those other people, otherwise they wouldn’t be confiding their disapproval. They give you opportunities to jump in with your own disapproval for those people, as if it’s a healthy form of bonding.

Meanwhile, all you’re thinking is: What do they say about me when I’m not around?

4. They’re highly defensive.
Dangerous trait! And one of the most common. Many people feel that if they deny something, it ceases to exist.

They turn criticisms of themselves into a joke or into an offensive statement that makes no sense. They pout. They act passive aggressive. They change the subject. They distort the “accusation.” Or they just withdraw.

These are the ways dishonest people put up their shields. Shields up, information out. Shields down, information in.

5. They love to debate.
I’m not talking about an exchange of rational ideas. I’m talking about the hyperemotional dogfights that now dominate opposing discussions everywhere from “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” to political debates.

Debating tactics are just a string of tricks that can be shockingly ineffective in manipulating people. Some of the worst include: Attacking people instead of ideas, using insinuation and innuendo, playing on fears, being sarcastic and dismissive, scapegoating, changing the subject and labeling people.

Once upon a time, you couldn’t get a passing grade in English if you communicated like that. Now, you can run for high profile office.

6. They talk too much and say too little.
It’s usually because they’re trying to hide something or just don’t have anything to say. So they try to substitute quantity for quality, especially by dropping meaningless buzzwords like “negative growth,” “thought leader” or a currently ubiquitous cliche du jour: “strategic planning” — as if a regular plan is just a wish list.

In contrast, Winston Churchill — a gifted speaker and Nobel laureate in literature — once said, “Short words are best, and old words, when short, are best of all.” A similar sentiment was echoed by business communications specialist L.J. Brockman, creator of the C2M2 formula, which designates the four primary characteristics of successful communications: Clear, concise, memorable and motivational.

[Bigiron]

7. They don’t know how to apologize.
Apologizing is pretty easy. You say, “I’m sorry.” And that’s it. Unfortunately, it’s something you’ll rarely hear from a dishonest person. They’ll say, “I’m sorry. But ...” Then comes the about-face, usually fueled by an accusation: “But I only did it because you did, blah, blah, blah.”

This happens out of fear, particularly in fear’s common disguises of arrogance, perfectionism or some other form of superiority. The person’s central, self-dooming premise is: It’s all about me, and if I just plead not guilty to every charge, it’ll stay that way.

My advice? Quit while you’re ahead.

8. They display uncomfortable body language.
Nonverbal communication is the ultimate dead giveaway. Here are some signs that indicate a person is uncomfortable with what they’re saying:

Unlike with a genuine smile, the corners of their mouth don’t go up, but are pulled straight back. The smile doesn’t include their whole face, and their brows are often furrowed.
Their head angle is tilted slightly backward, rather than off to either side. And they literally look down their nose at you.
People who are truthful have their eyes wide open. The eyes of a dishonest person, however, are somewhat lidded and tend to be locked on you, without much movement.
(When you see these signs, it’s wise — and often kind — to give them special attention about why they feel uncomfortable.)

These expressions are the most revealing if they happen frequently, but not all the time. The times when they don’t happen give me a baseline for evaluation. Then, when I do see these signs, I have good reason to analyze them for other tells that show how they really feel.

[Migrant]

FBI CIA all heroes only in movies.

[dynamite]

I can tell a conman from far away. If you go class gathering, it is a good opportunity to test your ability.

[FangFang]

Wow, now then I know..

[Bigiron]

I can tell a conman from far away. If you go class gathering, it is a good opportunity to test your ability.

How ? Can teach us

[Huliwang]

Which forum members got these 8 deceptive habits?.....

[Bigiron]

Which forum members got these 8 deceptive habits?.....

Yup lor which sgtalker?🤔

[maxsanic]

Don't trust people with these 8 deceptive habits, warns former FBI agent

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/02/12/retired-...nesty.html

1. They speak in absolutes, such as ‘always’ and ‘never.’ 

2. They brag by downplaying their accomplishments. 

3. They try to please you by judging people you both know. 

4. They’re highly defensive. 

5. They love to debate. 

6. They talk too much and say too little. 

7. They don’t know how to apologize. 

8. They display uncomfortable body language.

Er... Aren't most of these traits on display by the current FBI Director, Christopher Wray?

[Bigiron]

Er... Aren't most of these traits on display by the current FBI Director, Christopher Wray?

No wonder so many ex fbi

[Bigiron]

TEN NEGATIVE TELLS FOR VESTING IN YOUR SUCCESS

1. Supervisors pass you over for a promotion and give it to someone with whom you work.

2. 2. Your bosses point out ways that you’re different from them.

3. 3. Your bosses leave you out of meetings that your peers attend. This is also one of the worst tells.

4. 4. People with power over you exaggerate the importance of your trivial errors.

5. Your immediate supervisor mentions other departments where you might excel.

6. Executives engage in negative nonverbals while you’re offering your ideas.

7. Your boss asks you about rumors that you’ve done something wrong.

8. Your organization’s decision makers text or email while they’re talking to you, or walk away while you’re still talking.

9. Leaders never say, “I really want you to succeed here,” or words to that effect.

10. People challenge your thoughts and opinions.

[Bigiron]

TEN POSITIVE TELLS FOR VESTING IN YOUR SUCCESS

1. People are happy to work at your tempo, and in your work style instead of theirs.

2. People typically talk in terms of your own priorities, interests, and prosperity.

3. People look for ways to expand their relationship with you.

4. People join you in a difficult project even when they would rather not.

5. People call in their own favors on your behalf.

6. Virtually all of someone’s positive actions are unsolicited.

7. People create a positive image of you inside and outside of your company, and give you credit for success that they were involved with, at the expense of their own credit.

8. People show genuine excitement about your achievements.

9. People extend their professional relationship with you into a social one.

10. People tell you something they’ve never told anyone else.