[S I M T A N]

My mother is far kinder than me. I feel indignant that her sister and her children are so ungrateful in spite of my mom's generosity towards them. Even though my siblings and I have always treated our cousins cordially, they continue to bad mouth us. I guess I won't be so nice to them in future; everyone has their limits.

Another irony is that my mom likes to bring her sister out for meals on Saturdays when my siblings or my family are free to drive them. I have to drive to my mom and aunt's respective homes to pick them up, settle the bill and then send both of them home thereafter. At times, one of her children will accompany their mom. My siblings and I also pick up this aunt for CNY gatherings which her children have stopped attending. We don't understand why this auntie still talks bad behind our backs.

I feel your pain, and the hurt you felt as a result of your relatives taking advantage of your mum's good nature, and their ingratitude and petty backbiting. Your predicament has resonance for me. In my case, it weren't my relatives that were a bother but my friends.

The trouble with me is that I was always ready to oblige my friends and help them in matters pertaining to their homes, businesses or anything. And ferrying a few of them to our game venues was the norm. I was the go-to person when the need arose, so naturally they'd cozy up to me. That was before I got married. After marriage my wife, who came to the realisation that I was being exploited and didn't like what she saw, decided to put a stop to all this. She then made me gradually distance myself from those exploitative friends.

For you, it's going to be very difficult to get out of the predicament you're in because of the feelings of kinship your mum has with her own flesh and blood. This thread you started is a welcome change from the general run of topics. It's not often that a forummer will pour out his troubles to his fellows. I can see many appreciate what you're doing, with quite a few chiming in with their opinions. But this is no agony column. I believe that when you talk about your woes, no solutions are sought as you may receive comfort and relief from the process of talking. You're more than capable of handling the issue yourself.