[pinkpanther]

My aunt is certainly not as sharp as before, so its a combination of cognitive decline, resentment and envy. When I picked my aunt up in my new continental car a few months back, she commented to her children that I like to show off. This is merely one example. Should I have bought a Korean or Japanese Cat A car instead?   

This is known as inferior complexity. Next time, pick her up on a bicycle so she won't have anything negative to say about you...

[RiseofAsia]

My mother's sister is relying on her savings after retirement and lives in a HDB flat with her unmarried son; her other children aren't earning much while her grandchildren are underperforming in school. As my mom is staying in a landed property and her children and grandchildren are all doing well, this sister has become envious and bad mouths my mom and her children (my siblings and me). This is in spite of my mom giving her sister money every month. Talking about biting the hand that feeds it. Should I advise my mother to stop giving handouts to this ungrateful sister?

 Ask your mother where is your Red line?
人善被人欺lah. She knows your mother’s weakness and taking advantage.

Never be too good to ungrateful person. 
They wont appreciate what you have done for them.
因为他们的良心都给狗吃了。

[EvertonDiehard]

This is known as inferior complexity. Next time, pick her up on a bicycle so she won't have anything negative to say about you...

Perhaps this is better for "safe distancing".

[EvertonDiehard]

 Ask your mother where is your Red line? 人善被人欺lah. She knows your mother’s weakness and taking advantage. Never be too good to ungrateful person. They wont appreciate what you have done for them. 因为他们的良心都给狗吃了。

Apart from FD and some insurance retirement plans, my mom relies on an allowance from my siblings and me. So the irony is that my aunt is NOT receiving an allowance from her own children, but getting a cut from my mom's allowance from my siblings and me. She evens complains that $800 per month from my mom who is long retired, is not enough.

[Hope]

Reading your story for the third time.🙄

[pinkpanther]

Perhaps this is better for "safe distancing".

This uncle was so fashionable back then.. see the similarities? 

[RiseofAsia]

Apart from FD and some insurance retirement plans, my mom relies on an allowance from my siblings and me. So the irony is that my aunt is NOT receiving an allowance from her own children, but getting a cut from my mom's allowance from my siblings and me. She evens complains that $800 per month from my mom who is long retired, is not enough.

Very easy to solve the issue lah.
Next time if she makes a fuss on your mother again.
Ask your mother to get angry and scold her back.
Then dont answer her phone call if she calls and dont give her any allowance from then onwards. Money shd be given to grateful person not ungrateful person.

Once she has learned her mistake, then your mother still can give her some allowance but must cut down, just cook up some excuse.

[pinkpanther]

Reading your story for the third time.🙄

Why you read so many times?

[EvertonDiehard]

Very easy to solve the issue lah.Next time if she makes a fuss on your mother again.Ask your mother to get angry and scold her back.Then dont answer her phone call if she calls and dont give her any allowance from then onwards. Money shd be given to grateful person not ungrateful person. Once she has learned her mistake, then your mother still can give her some allowance but must cut down, just cook up some excuse.

Toxic people like my aunt and cousins usually have a negative outlook on life and tend to focus on the negative aspects of situations. This negativity is contagious, and spending time with them will leave me feeling down. I told my mom to reduce contact. It just saps her energy having to hear her sister's complaints such as $800 is not enough and why hasn't my mom already transferred the money for this month etc. 

[EvertonDiehard]

Why you read so many times?

Maybe he wants to commit it to memory when responding to his own toxic relatives. LOL!

[Lukongsimi]

This aunt tells my mom that the allowance she gives monthly is not enough, that my mom is stingy considering that she is staying in a landed home (bought by my parents in the 1970s when it was affordable for a white collar working couple), her children are all doing well (professionals and in senior management) so she should give this aunt more money, that the restaurants that my mom brings her to are not up to her standard etc. She also bad mouthed my mom and her children to their brother (my uncle), who informed my mom.

Wondering did she supported your mum when she was young n need to give her a sum of money as maintenance n reward ?
No such thing I ever heard sister has to support sister since she got children

[forum456]

I mentioned some of the gossip in my earlier posts. Basically, my aunt and cousins twist whatever is said by my mom and my siblings in a negative way. My mom gives her sister $800 a month which I do not know whether it is considered "peanuts", but when my cousins do not give their mom an allowance, then $800 is a lifeline. If we talk about our jobs in a casual conversation over meals, my cousins and aunt take it that we are rubbing it in because my cousins are all underemployed after losing their previous jobs due to probably ageism (they are all in their 50s). Basically, the whole family resents my mom and her brother's families because they are doing far better than that aunt's family.  

2 issues here.

1) is it your aunt who talks bad or her children who talk bad.
    give one example that only your aunt is talking bad.
    if your aunt is gossiping what her children are talking bad, then it is her children talking bad and not your aunt .

2) could it be that you are sensitive to their remarks and not they are talking bad ?
    so far, there is no example of them talking bad.
    talking bad means saying things which are not true.
    if you are stingy, and they say you are stingy, this is not talking bad because it is the truth.

[forum456]

look like a saga where a brother who was condemned by his siblings as dishonourable son.

until the death of his sister, the brother failed to reconcile with his siblings.

this is a total disgrace to their great father.

learn from the saga , do not behave like the brother who was disowned by his siblings.

[EvertonDiehard]

1) is it your aunt who talks bad or her children who talk bad.
    give one example that only your aunt is talking bad.
    if your aunt is gossiping what her children are talking bad, then it is her children talking bad and not your aunt .

My aunt told my uncle (her brother) that my mom (their sister) is stingy because she only gives her $800 per month, and my mom is tardy because she doesn't always remember to transfer the money by the 1st or 2nd of the month. Since my aunt's own adult children do not give her any money, it is untrue and unreasonable to label the person giving her $800 per month as "stingy". So that is untrue. Her children also echo her sentiments and make envious comments about where we live and the model of cars we drive etc. When we get into conversations about where we live, work and holiday, they later commented that we are very "materialistic" etc. I won't go into specifics.  

[pinkpanther]

Maybe he wants to commit it to memory when responding to his own toxic relatives. LOL!

Maybe he is your cousin reading this 

[WhatDoYouThink!]

Never tell yr friends about your striking of toto, salary increments, newly bought car, bookings of new condo and etc. That would set many tongues wagging

[pinkpanther]

My aunt told my uncle (her brother) that my mom (their sister) is stingy because she only gives her $800 per month, and my mom is tardy because she doesn't always remember to transfer the money by the 1st or 2nd of the month. Since my aunt's own adult children do not give her any money, it is untrue and unreasonable to label the person giving her $800 per month as "stingy". So that is untrue. Her children also echo her sentiments and make envious comments about where we live and the model of cars we drive etc. When we get into conversations about where we live, work and holiday, they later commented that we are very "materialistic" etc. I won't go into specifics.  

In an effort to eliminate this prevailing sinkie mindset and improve the gene pool, the government is actively working to bring in foreigners to encourage interbreeding with the local population, thereby moving away from this default mentality...

[pinkpanther]

Never tell yr friends about your striking of toto, salary increments, newly bought car, bookings of new condo and etc. That would set many tongues wagging

Wah..he strike how much? Lone winner?

[Gemstar]

My aunt told my uncle (her brother) that my mom (their sister) is stingy because she only gives her $800 per month, and my mom is tardy because she doesn't always remember to transfer the money by the 1st or 2nd of the month. Since my aunt's own adult children do not give her any money, it is untrue and unreasonable to label the person giving her $800 per month as "stingy". So that is untrue. Her children also echo her sentiments and make envious comments about where we live and the model of cars we drive etc. When we get into conversations about where we live, work and holiday, they later commented that we are very "materialistic" etc. I won't go into specifics.  

Given $800 is stingy? Huh? Can ask her to get from Govt see whether got $800 every mth or not. This kind of relative can put one side.

[EvertonDiehard]

Given $800 is stingy? Huh? Can ask her to get from Govt see whether got $800 every mth or not. This kind of relative can put one side.

My sentiments exactly! When the Govt gives CDC vouchers which are taken from the tax we pay them, S'poreans are so thankful to the govt. My mom has never gotten any $ from my aunt, but hands her $800 every month when my cousins give their mother nothing. How can that aunt call her elder sister "stingy"? Does she expect $2,000 every month from her long retired sister?   

[EvertonDiehard]

Never tell yr friends about your striking of toto, salary increments, newly bought car, bookings of new condo and etc. That would set many tongues wagging

There is no need to tell. I have to pick my aunt up when my mom treats her and her adult children to meals so they know what make of car I drive. During CNY, my aunt will visit my mom at her landed home.

[EvertonDiehard]

Maybe he is your cousin reading this 

S'pore is small so it may happen.

[pinkpanther]

S'pore is small so it may happen.

That's why he needs to read it three times...not just to verify, but to ensure beyond a doubt that it's really you.