[Oyk]

If I am asked to hold joss sticks at a temple that I am visiting, I would refuse. Since my parents and in-laws are all Christians, I wouldn't be pressured to do so when they pass on. I was once asked if I wanted to hold joss sticks at a colleague's mom's wake. I politely declined and merely bowed to the photo of his mom as a mark of respect. I did so because there were young Christian colleagues present whom I didn't wish to stumble. 

If young Christians think that by bowing, you are not showing respect but worshipping the dead , then it's better not to bow. Just viewing the body if it's an open coffin and the family allows it is good enough lorh. 

As a side note, if only all men respect the living like they respect the dead, this world would be so much more peaceful. Why is it that we must wait for someone to be dead before we make a (belated) bow of respect? Or are we saying that we respect Death more than Life? 

Or to put it in another way.... what does bowing to a body which the original inhabitant is no longer residing in does? The real person whom we used to call Sally/Judy/Lilian/whatever is no longer in it. The spirit has departed and that body has begun to decay and rot and wilk become dust.